Blog family, recently I had to congregate with a large group of people in what is called a social gathering. What usually happens in these social gatherings is quite unusual..people actually use their lips to talk to one another and not a keyboard. Interesting..but even more interesting is the type of people you are likely to meet at these social gatherings. So here then, is a list of these type of peeps.
The Pritt Stick – for those unfamiliar with a Pritt stick, it’s a famous glue stick brand which you probably should know about and if you don’t, I’m not sure what kind of deprived non glue-sniffing childhood you had. Anyway you’ve probably guessed it by now, this type of character sticks to you like glue. The Pritt Stick will attach to you for hours telling you the same long story that you could care less for. Meanwhile you keep looking over at your friends and you watch them as they laugh and joke while you have to put up with some annoying Pritt’s story. You keep nodding your head and pretend you’re listening but the only thing you’re really doing is praying for a hero to pull you out of there.
The Shadow – Now this character is a bit different than the Pritt Stick. While this type of person always sticks to you they never really say anything throughout the night. Very often at a social gathering there is that one guy who comes along and doesn’t really know anyone else in the party except for you. So he/she sticks by your side the entire night not saying a word. Leaving some very awkward silences when it’s just the two of you standing around looking at each other. “heeeeeeey, how’s it going there” is a phrase you just can’t help repeat to break the silence.
The Half-There – We all know one, actually we all know several of these. The type of people who shouldn’t have even bothered showing up at all. They spend their entire time tweeting, BBMing, Whatsapping Facebooking, FourSqauring, Instagramming, Youtubing, Soapbox.meing and doing just about anything their phone can do. The only way to actually have a conversation with them while they are in front of you is to send them some sort of notification on their phone.
The Deceptor – While the half there spends most his time on the phone, the deceptor does so too. However he/she spends time tweeting about how great an event that they’re in is. Typical tweets will look like this “OMG, at Derp’s party..having a blast!!”. Meanwhile you look back the deceptor and you’ll find them yawning and fidgeting their fingers in boredom.
The Paparazzi – They’re only at the social gathering to take pictures to upload them to Facebook and more importantly …Instagram. It doesn’t matter if it’s a picture of a shoe, a salad or even the hair-clip some lady dropped on her way out of the event. The picture must be taken, the filter added..and then they wait for ‘likes’ to come rolling in. And then of course humanity can sleep at ease that night knowing that ‘The Paparazzi’ got her 20+ likes.
The Hugger – Mainly applies to guys, but this is the type of person who goes around putting his arm around people, slapping them on the back and literally just pretending to be everyone’s best bud. Unfortunately this isn’t a beer commercial buddy and your slaps on the back should really be limited to once every year, so if you’ve used your quota up, sit back, relax and slap a table or something.
The Celebrity – The type that obnoxiously walks into a place and makes it quite obvious they have arrived. They like to create big and loud events and gather and tell stories that no one really cares for. They very often fabricate stories to make things sounds interesting, but in reality the only interesting thing about them are the jokes you get to make of them once they have left the party.
The Never-Leaver – This guy will spend the entire night telling you “hey, im just about to head out” only to find him an hour later talking to another group of people telling them “hey, I’m just about to head out” only for them to find him telling another group of people the same thing hours later. He is also the type of guy who keeps telling you he’s leaving you’re house when your passing out and about to fall asleep..only to falsely build your hopes up for nothing as you find him sticking around for a while longer. To you Mr. Never-Leaver I ask you..why, why do you build me up, build me up, buttercup baby, just to let me down, let me down.
The Out-of-Placer – This dude just doesn’t get it, he will underdress to an event you need to dress up for, he will make inappropriate references in front of the wrong types of crowds. This type is also very likely to buy a round of shots for a large group of people that doesn’t drink alcohol. To top it all off no one probably even knows who actually invited him to begin with.
Well that’s all there is, if you feel I have missed anyone out please let me know in the comments section below. Have a good weekend to everyone in Dubai…perhaps while you are out and about this weekend you may end up realizing that you fit the role of one of these characters..at which point I’d suggested using the rest of the weekend to reflect upon life…but more importantly I’d suggested you share this blog post with your friends and laugh about it.